We cannot care for you the way we wanted
We cannot care for you the way we wanted. John Lamberton Bell* (1949- ) and Graham Maule* (1958-2019).
First published in When Grief Is Raw (Wild Goose, 1997), this tender hymn was written to console those who have had the almost unbearable sadness of losing a baby. It takes a time and a tragedy that is very hard to bear, and expresses the ‘mess of anger, grief and tiredness’ (stanza 4 line 1) in delicate and gentle phrases that no other hymn writer had ever attempted to face. It must have comforted many by recognizing the misery and the love that accompany the death of a baby. It sets before God ‘the worship of our sorrow’ (stanza 4 line 3), and the knowledge that ‘love will not die’...
If you have a valid subscription to Dictionary of Hymnology, please log inlog in to view this content. If you require a subscription, please click here.
MLA style (see MLA Style Manual and Guide to Scholarly Publishing, 3rd Ed.)
. "We cannot care for you the way we wanted."
The Canterbury Dictionary of Hymnology. Canterbury Press. Web. 8 Feb. 2026.<
http://www.hymnology.co.uk/w/we-cannot-care-for-you-the-way-we-wanted>.
Chicago style (see The Chicago Manual of Style, 16th Ed.)
. "We cannot care for you the way we wanted."
The Canterbury Dictionary of Hymnology. Canterbury Press, accessed February 8, 2026,
http://www.hymnology.co.uk/w/we-cannot-care-for-you-the-way-we-wanted.